i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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