every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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