She is in my trunk
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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