our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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