Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
