: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize