He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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