PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
