She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
