my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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