as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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