i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
