He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
