mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize