Kiss
Puke
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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