is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
