soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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