your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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