Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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