he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
