So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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