Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
