dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
