i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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