Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
