my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
