I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just threw up on my dentist
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize