census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
