I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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