Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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