I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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