Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
