Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
