Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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