You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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