Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
