If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
