I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
