She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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