we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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