Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize