Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
