Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
