He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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