Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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