It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
