It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
