I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
