Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
