Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
