Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
