Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
