i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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