So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
