Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
