Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
