Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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