Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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