I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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