I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
