Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
