ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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